What do you look like??

Go to Google and type in "(your name here) looks like". 
Then post your ten fave results in your journal. 
Beware: You might actually laugh. :)


"Jessica looks like..."

1) ...she was punched in the face one too many times too; it would have been interesting to see their children. 
2) ...a plastic blow up doll and I don't mean that in a good complimentary way.
3) ...she should be running top secret government missions instead of being a Hollywood sex symbol.
4) ...she just saw the actual size of nick's dick.
5) ...a demon off of inuyasha.
6) ...an ugly guy trying to pass as a girl.
7) ...a fucking rabid clown.
8) ...an over-botoxed tranny.
9) ...someone dropped her into a barrell of extra strength TANG.
10) ...she smells something rank in every picture.

So I've decided to just take a break from the whole shipping thing, just as I told rainbower the other day. I really don't want to get bored with it and give up forever, and I might read the occasional fic or something - but if you sent me anything to beta or look over and I haven't sent it back, this is why and I will gladly try to find you a substitute beta or something. 

I just need to ditch the ship long enough to get sh*t taken care of here and to explore other sides to me and stuff.

"It's not you, it's me" seems to sum it up right now.



In other news, for those of you who aren't chucking things at me right now:



so yeah, night peoples~!



PS>>

---------------IN THE LAST 24 HRS------------------
-- Cried: Yes
-- Worn jeans: Wearing 'em right now.
-- Met someone new online: Nope
-- Done laundry: Nuh uh... I sent Lorna to do it.
-- Drove a car: Yeah
-- Talked on the phone: Yep

---------------DO YOU BELIEVE IN--------------
-- Yourself: Sometimes
-- Your friends: Sometimes
-- Santa Clause: No... but I believe in Santa Claus.
-- Tooth Fairy: Nope...
-- Fate/Destiny: Sorta.
-- Angels: Yeah
-- Ghosts: Yeah
-- UFO's: Of course! I just think the stereotypical UFO is a bit sketchy. I mean, if I chuck a paper ball at my sister and she doesn't identify it immediately, then it is technically an Unidentified Flying Object... or a UFO.

--------FRIENDS AND LIFE------------------
-- Do you ever wish you had another name?: I kinda liked the name I almost got... and I might just use it for a kid or if I ever have to suddenly change my name.
-- Do you like anyone?: I don't know. :(
-- Which one of your friends acts the most like you?: *shrugs*
-- Are you close to any family members?: We have our moments.
-- Who do you like to hang around the most?: Depends on my day.

1. Your Name: Jessica Michelle
2. Your Nickname(s): Don't have any.
3. Your Birthday: August 30th
4. Your Age Now: 18
5. Your Location: Florence, AL, USA
6. Your school: University of North Alabama
7. School Grade: Freshman
8. Sex: Female

--------------------------------------------------

1. Hair Color: Blondish
2. Eye color: Blueish
3. Skin color: Tannish
4. Height: 5'10ish
6. Do you care about the way you look?: If a bear makes a poopie in the woods, does it still stink?
7. Do you ever get tanned?: Yes
8. Do you have big ears?: I don't think so...
9. Do you have contacts or glasses?: Yes

Have I Ever...
1. Eaten an entire box of Oreo's?: No... ew ((not the Oreo's, but the thought of eating all of them at once))
2. Gotten in a car accident?: Yes... two of them
3. Watched "Punky Brewster"?: Nope
4. Hiked a mountain?: LOL nope
5. Death Valley on horseback?: No way
6. Stayed home on a Saturday night just because?: Nope... it was more of a "stayed home on a Saturday night because no one else wanted anything to do with me"

In the Past Week Have I...
1. Cried?: Yes... more than once
3. Cut your hair?: No
4. Worn a skirt?: No... but I wanted to
5. Worn a tie?: No... but I wanted to
6. Been mean?: Probably
7. Been sarcastic?: Probably
8. Gone for a walk?: Between classes, yeah
9. Gone out for dinner?: Sorta
10. Met someone new?: Not really
11. Taken a test?: Yeah
12. Hugged someone?: Yeah, sorta... it was more like she glomped me and I just sat there
13. Kissed someone?: No
14. Danced with someone?: No
15. Had a nightmare?: No...
16. Fought with your parents? Maybe a little fit, but nothing major.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
// YOUR ROOM, WAKING UP //
01. What color are your walls?: Yellow with wallpaper glue
02. What color is your bedspread/sheets: White with a Joe Boxer comforter.
03. What color is your rug?: Blue and orange and brown and dirty-mustard yellow... and it's shag.
04. Any posters/bulletin boards/designs in your room?: Nope
05. Do you have a TV? *My sister does the same thing, Irisri* & yes, but it doesn't work.
06. Do you have a phone?: No
07. Do you have your own computer?: Yes, but it's upstairs and my sisters use it more than I do because of the way it's sit-chee-ated.
08. Do you have a desk?: Not in my room...
09. What are your most treasured belongings in your room? My books and my jewelry and my boxes and little knickknacks
10. What are your most favorite things in your room?: My knickknacks
11. Do you have any fancy lights in your room?: Not really... I just have those classroom-esque lights in my ceiling... ya know, the ones with the long white bulbs and they're flat in the ceiling??? Yeah, those.

// GETTING READY //
01. What is the first thing you do when you wake up?: Hit snooze.
02. Anything unusual?: Not really.
03. Do you pick out your clothes the night before school?: No
04. Do you try your best to look cute for school?: Sometimes

// SCHOOL //
01. What color is your backpack?: Purple and black
02. Do you try your best when it comes to school work?: Sometimes
03. Do you listen or doodle?: Doodle most of the time
04. BE QUIET: STFUBitch
05. Do you eat your cafeteria food, or go out?: Since I can't afford the cafeteria, I usually just drive home and eat before my next class.
06. What do you do right when schools over?: Drive home and hang out on the net.

// HOME //
When you come home are you.
01. Miserable?: Yeah
02. Happy?: Rarely
03. Tired?: Sometimes
04. LEAVE ME ALONE?: Pretty much

// OTHER //
01. Do you take walks around your neighborhood sometimes?: Very rarely. VERY rarely.
02. What are some hobbies of yours?: Books, music, etc.
03. Do you collect anything?: Not really.
04. What do you do in your spare time?: Read, listen to music, write, etc. etc.

// NIGHT TIME //
01. What do you do before you go to bed?: I make sure my fan is on and the laundry room lights are out
02. Do you kiss your parents/guardians goodnight, or just say "goodnight"?: I usually go to bed after them, so just "night" when they go to bed does the trick.
03. What way do you sleep (ex: on your side, tummy, etc.)?: Facing my alarm clock most of the time
04. Do you like your life?: *Once again agreeing with Irisri* Honestly? I would change so much about my life if I could, but I can't... so I'm learning to live with it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Last cigarette: I prefer secondhand smoke, thanks.
Last car ride: Earlier today.
Last good cry: Earlier today as I was driving and ranting to the empty passenger seat about my lack of a love/social life.
Last library book checked out: Haunted by Chuck Palahniuk about a month ago.
Last movie seen: The Grudge 2
Last book read: Haunted by Chuck Palahniuk
Last cuss word uttered: Fuck
Last beverage drank: Idk... but I really wanna beer.
Last food consumed: Idk... I doubt IceBreaker Sours count... so I guess it would be fries from Mickey D's.
Last crush: Dan
Last phone call: Mom, I think.
Last TV show watched: That 70's Show
Last time showered: Uhhh... I'm getting one in the morning? Oh, come on... I'm a college student, cut me some slack.
Last item bought: Gasoline
Last downloaded: *shrugs*
Last annoyance: Dan
Last disappointment: Dan
Last soda drank: Coca-Cola
Last thing written: My speech for class.
Last key used: The car keys??
Last word spoken: fuck
Last sleep: Woke up around eight this morning.
Last IM: Dunno... I think it was Aparna from the Shack.
Last ice cream eaten: Awww... I want ice cream~!!
Last time amused: The other night on the phone
Last time wanting to die: Actually, it's been awhile since I truly wanted to die.
Last time hugged: The other night?
Last chair sat in: The one I'm in now.
Last lipstick used: I don't wear lipstick... I wear lipgloss.

-----------------NUMBER OF-----------------
-- Number of girl/boyfriends you've had?: 2 boys & 3 girls
-- Number of drugs taken illegally: None
-- Number of people I could trust with my life: I don't know anymore.
-- Number of CDs that I own: About 6
-- Number of piercings: 2
-- Number of tattoos: 0
-- Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper?: Idk.
-- Number of scars on my body: Idk
-- Number of things in my past that I regret: Idk

To my dearest love.. Alcohol...
Dear Alcohol,

First & foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan of yours.
As my friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The perfect
post-work cocktail, a beer at the game, and you're even around at the
holidays, hidden inside chocolates, as you warm us when we're stuck in
the midst of endless family gatherings. However, lately I've been wondering about your intentions. While I want to believe that you have my best interests at heart, I feel that your influence has led to some unwise consequences:

1. Phone calls: While I agree with you that communication is important, I question the suggestion that any conversation of substance or necessity takes place after 2 a.m. Why would you make me call those
ex-boyfriends/girlfriends when I know for a fact they do not want
to hear from me during the day, let alone all hours of the night?

2. Eating: Now, you know I love a good meal, but why do you suggest
that I eat a taco with chili sauce, along with a big Italian meatball
and some stale chips (washed down with WINE & topped off with a Kit Kat after a few cheese curls & chili cheese fries)? I'm an eclectic
eater, but I think you went too far this time.

3. Clumsiness: Unless you're subtly trying to tell me that I need
to do more yoga to improve my balance, I see NO need to hammer the issue home by causing me to fall down. It's completely unnecessary, and the black & blue marks that appear on my body mysteriously the next day are beyond me. Similarly, it should never take me more than 45 seconds to get the front door key into the lock.

4. Furthermore: The hangovers have GOT to stop. This is getting
ridiculous. I know a little penance for our previous evening's
debauchery may be in order, but the 3pm hangover immobility is
completely unacceptable. My entire day is shot. I ask that, if the
proper precautions are taken (water, vitamin B, bread products, aspirin) prior to going to sleep/passing out face down on the kitchen floor with a bag of popcorn, the hangover should be minimal & in no way
interfere with my daily activities.


Alcohol, I have enjoyed our friendship for some years now & would like to ensure that we remain on good terms. You've been the invoker of great stories, the provocation for much laughter, and the needed companion when I just don't know what to do with the extra money in my pockets. In order to continue this friendship, I ask that you carefully review my grievances above & address them immediately. I will look for an answer no later than Thursday 3pm (pre-happy hour) on your possible solutions & hopefully we can continue this fruitful partnership.

Thank you,
Your biggest fan

P.S. THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Innovative 2. Preliminary 3. Proliferation 4. Cinnamon

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Specificity 2. British Constitution 3. Passive-aggressive disorder

THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Thanks, but I don't want to have sex.
2. Nope, no more beer for me.
3. Sorry, but you're not really my type.
4. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out?

LOVE IT!! haaahahahahaaa


Repost this if you feel the same way!

Why is it every time I get in a halfway decent mood one of my sisters goes and fucks it up for me?

And why is it Audra that does it 90% of the time? Can't the other, more tolerable, less annoying siblings do it once in awhile? 

And while we're at it... I want you guys to know that as long as I am using the family comp for everything... the F-list is history for awhile. I just got back into MySpace bulletins, and if you've got me over there... well, leave a comment or message or something to get ahold of me.

But this stuff where you guys jot down a message and are all, "Hey, BlueMonkeyz8, wtf is up with..." 

I won't get it for like, weeks. Cuz my computer sucks and all that.

And my deathfics that I soooo wanted to write? 

Fuck that shit. I've got sisters who refuse to let a writer get any GD peace. Fuckers. 


Oh, yeah.... Let me at least add that I feel sorry for them sometimes. Know that it is official that my mom



Next: Why was I so pissed /  "giddy" earlier...

Why I Was Pissed:





That being said... we shouted at each other and I left. 




I filled out job applications to get the hell away from my other POS manager, who I'm about to report to the Health Department and to the BBB. 

Why, you ask?

And now, for why I was so happy today....



I saw a MySpace bulletin, a friend of mine needing a couple of kids to show up for a mild photo shoot. Hang out, take a few pics, then go home. 

I got to it a few days late and figured he'd filled the slots, but I replied anyway.

And a Matt update, for those who are interested: 

I am so pissed. And yet, so... giddy? I think that's the word.

Either way, tonight I'm working on deathfics.

Well, as if my life hasn't been sucktastic for the past few days... my computer is down.

And after calling HP and trying every other trick in the book, we were left with one option. 

PC Recovery.


*collective groaning from those who have been through this before*

Yeah, I know.


For those that don't know, bless you and may this never happen to your beloved machines. However, if it does happen, like it did to me, I'm truly feeling for you.


PC Recovery means getting rid of EVERYTHING. Those stories I was beta'ing... gone. Those WIPs I had been putting off? Gone. 

My icons, my wallpapers, my rec lists, my fic lists, my stories, my pictures, my mom's wedding photos... G. O. N. E. GONE.


*frustrated sobbing*








GOOD NEWS!! Not all is lost... except for my WIPs. Everything else can be found on the family computer. That, or my email. I was a good beta and didn't delete the attachments you guys sent to me, so that's safe. All of my icons and papers can be found on here... as well as any other papers I had. My chem notes and all can be found on PipeLine, so while it will take forever and a few hours... I can and will be able to rebuild my computer.

To Rainbower and PhantomDove: I am currently three pages through on each of your fics. I plan to work a little more on them in a few. 

To StaroFrock21: Did I scare you off or something? Where you at, girl? 

And to the rest of my F-list (especially you E/O fans!):